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Necessary Evil

by Joker's Republic

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1.
This song's been written Four-hundred eighty million two-hundred fifty times before By everyone who's ever learned to play guitar. I'm not original But it feels so fresh to me…It feels so fresh to me Just like I bet the drummer down the street said to his mom Also, my friend Marilyn who really likes to draw a lot Everyone I know who's got creative bones inside their blood But why is it That we're so sad? That we're so angry and depressed Collectively our feelings are repressed And everything's a mess Cause we're so sad We've got to suffer one and all To see the beauty in the fall It's a necessary evil, not our fault So when you look at all the art in this community And say that from the outside it looks more like a pity party Well frankly I'm offended that you never took the time to see the real need to be upset To have something to say, to be so malcontent And if we had the choice we'd do this with a smile but… We're so sad Oh, we're so angry and depressed Collectively our feelings are repressed And everything's a mess Cause we're so sad We've got to suffer one and all To see the beauty in the fall It's a necessary evil, not our fault I'm so sad I get so angry and depressed One at a time my feelings are repressed And yes my life's a mess Cause we're so sad We've got to suffer one and all To see the beauty in the fall It's a necessary evil, not our fault This song's been written Four-hundred eighty million Two-hundred fifty times AND ONE
2.
Once upon a time there lived a not-so happy couple of kids Who thought they fell in love and to that end we tried to commit But that commitment didn't come without a cost Oh now we've gotta pay the price We should've called it when we saw the signs but we missed the hint And tried to force the plot along when we should have quit The tear streams down her face were fresh from every night And the bruises that she gave me, no they never healed right When we were good it was perfect, I never wanted anything more than what we had when things were good But therein lies the problem...things were rarely good between us And when they were the time was short Cause she was sour like gin, and I'm bitter like tonic; we mixed so well but that don't mean we weren't toxic You know it was bad when all our friends learned to stay away She was sour like gin, and I'm bitter like tonic; at least she had the guts to say she didn't want this And it took some time to see that she was right, there's got to be a better life There's got to be a better life... I always thought of fighting as a normal thing people did Because how else are you supposed to show you're invested? I spent a lot of time surrounded by that environment So I guess I'm numb to the consequence She didn't treat me like a person, very far from it Instead to her I don't think I was more than possession How did I go from being super ultra mad To begging her to stick around, what the fuck was up with that? Oh, I'm not gonna claim that I didn't make mistakes But I'm not the only one who knew how to make a heart break Cause she was sour like gin, and I'm bitter like tonic; we mixed so well but that don't mean we weren't toxic You know it was bad when all our friends learned to stay away She was sour like gin, and I'm bitter like tonic; at least she had the guts to say she didn't want this And it took some time to see that she was right, there's got to be a better life One drink too many can start blurring all the crossed lines One drink too many can exempt even the worst lies One drink too many can make everything feel oh so fine But one drink too many can destroy.... One drink too many can start blurring all the crossed lines One drink too many can exempt even the worst lies One drink too many can make everything feel oh so fine But one drink too many can destroy your mind! She was sour like gin, and I'm bitter like tonic; we mixed so well but that don't mean we weren't toxic You know it was bad when all our friends learned to stay away She was sour like gin, and I'm bitter like tonic; at least she had the guts to say she didn't want this And it took some time to see that she was right, there's got to be a better life. There's got to be a better life There's got to be a better life There's got to be a better life....
3.
I'm not getting any sleep tonight Cause I'm getting in my own head Trying to find answers while I'm losing my mind And I would be lying If I said it was the first time That I saw a sign of things to come.... Have you ever felt like everything you do is wrong And every single other person hates your guts, and it won't be very long 'Til you're on you're own and you've got no one you can call 'Cause you blew every chance you got, can't do nothin' right at all? I'm sorry, I guess it's not the most polite To ask a big loaded question like that Off the bat before I even said hello Oh my god, I've done it again…done it again I'm not getting any sleep tonight Cause I'm getting in my own head Trying to find answers while I'm losing my mind And I would be lying If I said it was the first time That I saw a sign of things to come I know is not there I know it's not there In my head, it's not real I know it's not there I know it's not there At least that's what I tell myself And I want to believe it I've never had a real explanation come to light for my crippling self-doubt That I didn't fabricate myself.... But what if that's only because I'm not wrong? I'm not getting any sleep tonight Cause I'm getting in my own head Trying to find answers while I'm losing my mind And I would be lying If I said it was the first time That I saw a sign of things to come I know is not there I know it's not there In my head, it's not real I know it's not there I know it's not... I'm not getting any sleep tonight Cause I'm getting in my own head Trying to find answers while I'm losing my mind And I would be lying If I said it was the first time That I saw a sign of things to come I know is not… I'm not getting any sleep tonight? (Do I know it's not there?) Cause I'm getting in my own head (In my head, is it real?) Trying to find answers (Am I just paranoid?) While I'm losing my mind (I think I'm losing my mind) And I would be lying (Lie awake every night) If I said it was the last time (And let anxiety take me) That I saw the signs of things to come…. (Overthink everything, Like that'll solve anything) I'm not getting any sleep tonight? (Do I know it's not there?) Cause I'm getting in my own head (In my head, it's not real?) Trying to find answers (Am I just paranoid?) While I'm losing my mind (Am I losing my mind)
4.
Talk To Me 03:18
Whoa Why won't you talk to me? Is it something that I said, love? It couldn't be 'cause we haven't spoken in a couple weeks And the last time that we did it went fine so I know that you're not mad at me But your silence frightens me Wisest person says nothing Are you wise? Are you tryna' keep your distance? Is something wrong? I don't know because you seem to drift away every time I try to ask you something Things aren't what they used to be between us For the life of me I can't figure out why And I'm sorry if I'm overstepping but it hurts me when you shut me out so… …Talk talk talk talk to me and tell me what you're feeling Cause I can't read your mind, and I'm worried about you Talk talk talk talk to me, so I can give you space And know that come tomorrow everything is gonna be okay Whoa I watch you waste away And I don't know how I can help you Apart from lis'ning to the story you won't tell me And I'll keep my two cents to myself, save 'em up if you Just want to vent to me But you gotta give me something I know you're in there somewhere hiding from the madness And you're afraid of getting caught up in the moment and burning the bridge we built together And I've been in that same place before, my friend God knows my emotions overtake my brain sometimes But it's worth the risk of failure because it shows me that you care enough to… Talk talk talk talk to me and tell me what you're feeling Cause I can't read your mind, and I'm worried about you Talk talk talk talk to me, so I can give you space And know that come tomorrow everything is gonna be okay I don't know how long I can hold out being kept out in the dark and left on read (I don't like feeling vulnerable) But I always let my guard down when you walk into the room It's cause I want you to trust me like I trust you I'm scared to death of the way you've changed Since the day I first met you I've lost a lot of friends this year You're the one that I can't lose Talk talk talk talk to me and tell me what you're feeling Cause I can't read your mind, and I'm worried about you Talk talk talk talk to me, so I can give you space And know that come tomorrow everything is gonna be okay Talk To Me
5.
(Straight edge Quit while I'm ahead) I'm at a crossroads in my life As I look back with full hindsight Thinking about all the misdeeds that I have done In just a few days I'll be only twenty-one Precious son, not quite sheltered but never exposed To the world outside my closed-off room But that's what I chose to do This is all so new to me The kind of fucked-up funny chemically-induced feeling That lots of people in my life take part in And I'm presented with a choice That I never thought I'd have to make Do I need more than music to get high? Should I go straight edge? Should I quit while I'm ahead? It's a concept that I've flirted with more than I've ever flirted with a one-night Stand-off inside my muddled head Cause I know I like my drink too much To give it up as I keep losing friends and touch I had some time to kill so I took that time to learn about These substances that ruin lives as close to firsthand as I could And I concluded that there might be merit to the need to be intoxicated I never saw that coming Cause I spent a lot of time declaring my uncomfortableness At the thought of someone that I care about lighting up a joint And the hypocrite in me still thinks that's wrong While I am passed out on the floor with an empty bottle in my hand Empty bottle in my hand I can't believe what's happening to me I thought I'd be a lot more upset About this very sudden change to my mindset After breaking all my rules, not breaking a sweat No longer see losing control as a real threat Should I go straight edge Should I quit while I'm ahead? It's a concept that I've flirted with more than I've ever flirted with a one-night Stand-off inside my muddled head Cause I know I like my drink too much To give it up as I keep losing friends and touch I don't wanna go that far But I'm starting to think there's no middle ground Is there even such a thing as moderation? And do I really wanna know? Should I go straight edge? Should I quit while I'm ahead? It's a concept that I've flirted with more than I've ever flirted with a one-night Stand-off inside my muddled head Cause I know I like my drink too much To give it up as I keep losing friends and touch (Straight Edge) I keep losing friends and touch (Quit while I'm ahead) I keep losing friends and touch (Straight Edge) I keep on losing friends and touch (Quit while I'm ahead) I keep losing friends and touch....
6.
DEAD MAN. WALKING. DEAD MAN. WALKING. I'm at a loss for words...Where do I even fuckin' start With the story of a living thing that doesn't have a heart? I'm *pissed off* beyond a shadow of a doubt I hope you're listening right now so you can hear me call you out You're deplorable, and you came across an angel Who did nothing wrong except she had a very pretty face So you cornered her, pinned her up against the wall Though she begged and she pleaded you went through with it I'm told You're very lucky I don't know who you are She refuses to give up your name But if and when she might decide to change her mind You better run before I break your face DEAD MAN. WALKING. DEAD MAN. WALKING. She was traumatized, but she kept it to herself Half because she was embarrassed, half because she thought nobody would believe her If she spoke of foul play And she tells me you've been stalking her up to this very day She's had enough of you, but you won't leave her alone So she called the cops, didn't tell them EVERYTHING Cause she felt bad, the gift she gave you was ignored She just wants this to be over…you keep pushing it forward She said no several times, didn't stop you now, did it? You intimidated her 'til she broke down and gave in You think you're in the clear? You didn't get away with shit FUCK YOU! You're very lucky I don't know who you are She refuses to give up your name But if and when she might decide to change her mind You better run before I break your face (WHY DOES EVERY GIRL I KNOW HAVE A STORY LIKE THIS!?) You're very lucky I don't know who you are She refuses to give up your name But if and when she might decide to change her mind You better run before I break your face You better run before I break your face You'll never hurt nobody else again
7.
Gunpoint 03:18
Shaky hands, short of breath Out of my comfort zone again I'm no stranger to those awkward silences That's how it's gonna say cause you don't wanna hear What I really wanna say You give an inch, I take a mile And I take a lot more than that When you smile and tell me that you love me, but I know that's not true It's a figure of speech to you but I wish it wasn't So I don't feel like I have to lie to you Gun to my head: Get over it And even if I really try, I'll be faced with my demise Gun to my head: I'd make a mess And as I fell, I'd say it's worth it…it's worth it Kept my mouth shut, tried to make do Never said a word of this to you Because I had a hunch that you wouldn't be on board I'd like to think, that all is well That I didn't make a fool of myself But I don't know how much you know You're not the first one of my friends That just tried to be nice to me but I got mixed messages Gun to my head: Get over it And even if I really try, I'll be faced with my demise Gun to my head: I'd make a mess And as I fell, I'd say it's worth it (It's worth it... It's worth it...) Gun to my head: Get over you And even if I really try, I'll be faced with my demise Gun to my head: I'd make a mess And as I fell... I'd say it's worth it, even if you never cared for me at all. (Aww...)
8.
Time moves pretty fast It wasn't very long ago we thought we were "United" Strange…how times have changed But if one thing's stayed consistent, it's that POLITICS STILL BELONG IN PUNK ROCK We tried to have a conversation with the world before the world decided to fucking implode They told me "artists shouldn't make their work political" so I took the challenge on to prove them wrong I'm not afraid to court a bit of controversy, if it means that I can start a dialogue It's kind of hard to make a nuanced and enlightened point in just one song so here's another one… First, let me be clear: There's no retraction of our stance, we still believe in unity, believe in love This is addendum. A "firmware update" if you will, that's more reflective of the social consciousness We reached across the aisle, and found a pile of trash Composed of shards of glass and broken records that left scars on our hands I have an open mind, but not a hateful heart And I will never side with anyone who can't tell those things apart Fuck all the racists, fascists, homophobes, transphobes, and sexists We don't want you here, we never did. (GET FUCKED) I never thought I'd have say something so obvious I do, 'cause that's the world we fuckin' live in. I will not stand by And watch decency be silenced by the bitter and the vile I said that "freedom…freedom of speech Only works if you are truly free" but that doesn't mean you're free from consequence We reached across the aisle, and found a pile of trash Composed of shards of glass and broken records that left scars on our hands I have an open mind, but not a hateful heart And I will never side with anyone who can't tell those things apart "Hey!" "Oi!" "Just because we don't agree Doesn't have to mean we can't be friends" but the key words there are "HAVE TO" Human beings have human rights. And if we can't agree on that, then I'm afraid that we are done here….
9.
Woe Is Me 03:06
There's not much left to say, I don't wanna be here anymore. What do you want from me? Another explanation? Some kind of fuckin' script so you can reenact the plot and find the pieces that fit Into your idea of what my life should be like? Well, I didn't write one... 'Cause I didn't think that anyone would wanna know the score It's two to one I'm losing my own mental tug-of-war Oh, would you take a look at that? You're already getting bored And you mock my story with just three words "Woe is me" "Woe is me" you say, so Whoa, slow down You don't know how real my demons are You try to write me off as "being too intense" It's very clear to me that you don't think I'm making sense And with a lack of rhyme or reason comes a lack of empathy I know you're not me, you won't see what I see But I can't tell you how I'm feeling in a way you'd understand No, I can't find the phrasing to convey the task at hand But even if I had the chance I don't think I would wanna Try to tell the honest truth and be accused of melodrama again "Woe is me" "Woe is me" you say, so Whoa, slow down You don't know how real my demons are "Woe is me" "Woe is me" You say, so Whoa, slow down You don't know how real my demons are Whoa Whoa Whoa, slow down You don't know how real my demons are.
10.
Anchor 04:38
You found me broken and abandoned And built me up to be your king I swore that I'd never let you down But I made another promise I couldn't keep I never said that I was perfect Nor did I claim to be complete...ly there in terms of sanity But I tried my best to be just that, shot for the moon and I fell flat And now I've only got myself to blame I've lost sight of the port of call I can't feel my fingers at all It's dark and it's cold and I'm scared to keep pressing on I'm only beside myself Disturbed and too proud to get help Too stubborn a person to be who I need to be We hit a rough patch… it's been two weeks ago to the day We faced down death and disease, and I still thought we'd be okay But the stress got to us both and though you accidentally hurt me, My inflexibility and weak fragility 'ventually pushed you away I've lost sight of the port of call I can't feel my fingers at all It's dark and it's cold and I'm scared to keep pressing on I'm only beside myself Disturbed and too proud to get help Too stubborn a person to be who I need to be I know that I should be uplifting But when I try, well, something's missing And I'm positively drifting out to sea Without an anchor to keep me grounded How can I be happy? I've lost sight of the port of call I can't feel my fingers at all It's dark and it's cold and I'm scared to keep pressing on I'm only beside myself Disturbed and too proud to get help Too stubborn a person to be who I need to be I know that I should be uplifting But when I try, well, something's missing And I'm positively drifting out to sea Without an anchor to keep me grounded How can I be happy? Without your anchor to keep me grounded How can I be happy?

credits

released July 3, 2022

Austen Gray: Lead Guitar/Rhythm Guitar/VOX
Billy Smolen: Bass/Auxiliary Guitars/VOX
Pat Elwood: Drums/VOX

Trombone On "Necessary Evil" provided by Buddy Schaub from Less Than Jake

Produced and Engineered by Roger Lima at Moathouse Recording Studio in Gainesville, FL

Mixed and Mastered by Eric Taft at The Buzzlounge in Baltimore, MD

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Joker's Republic New Jersey

We're a Ska-Punk band from North NJ, and Generally speaking there are WORSE ways to spend a Saturday night than checking out our band, so why not? ¯\_(ツ) _/¯

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